EXCERPT:
I fully expected the boys at U.S. Customs to be mistrusting. My dirty,
multi-pocketed backpack must have seemed a tricky vessel of illicit freight.
I wore a wide-brimmed hat that threw shade over my weary eyes, and I had
the overgrown facial and head hair that suggests to many an inexcusable
disdain for social norms. And I had just crossed the quiet prairie border
between North Portal, Saskatchewan (pop. 80) and Portal, North Dakota
(pop. 100) on foot, reason enough to be presumed guilty of something.
Besides, I imagined
that doubt and suspicion were a key part of job advice posted on the office
wall: Appear dour and be wary at all times while on duty. Although
you may be permissive and good-natured at home, dont bring a vulnerable
countenance to the workplace. Here, you are decisive and all-powerfulact
that way. Free passage into our nation is not a simple right for the hopeful
folks idling beneath your steely gaze. It is a great privilege.
A blond, closely cropped deputy sheriff type came outside and waited for
me near the door. With about five paces separating us, I stopped walking
to allow for the showdown of first impressions. He crossed his arms and
squintedthe practised look of stern judgmentand quickly fired
the usual bullet: "Where are you from?"
This I considered a multiple-choice question. "Canada," I said,
obviously and unspecifically.
"Okay, but where are you coming from?"
"Well, I started up in Alaska, the Yukon, actually. Im taking
the bus to Florida, so Portal is about the halfway point, I guess."
Likely story, his face seemed to say. And apparently I had provided too
much information too fast. The handsome young officer was on the verge
of irritation.
"What I need to know is where you came from today."
"Oh. Estevan, Saskatchewan."
He paused. "So wheres the bus?"
His malicious half-smirk indicated that he had made a joke. Since his
job involved stopping every morsel of infrequent traffic, regular bus
service was something he would know about. That particular doorway to
the United States (the Portal portal) is mainly used by long-haul transport
trucks and local families with friends on the opposite side, plus the
occasional stray RVer who thinks hes found a handy shortcut to either
Chicago or Calgary. The officer was also vaguely amused, I thought, because
I was so clearly a baggage-search candidate and he had time to kill.
"I had to hitchhike," I said.
He nodded as though that matched his guess. "Step inside, please."
Inside, as he began dissecting my bloated corpse of a backpack, I pulled
a few sweat-wrinkled travellers cheques from one pocket and some
American cash from another, modest proof that I could afford to loiter
for a while in his expansive, expensive country. Meanwhile, he had found
my kitchen-in-a-plastic-bag: a jug of orange juice, a half-loaf of bread,
a banana, some raisins, peanut butter and a jackknife.
"Breakfast?" he said, grinning across the room at his co-worker,
an older, pot-bellied man who offered no reaction, resolved to remain
unimpressed with life. Any element of surprise had vanished from his job
long ago. The wall beside him was plastered with missing and/or wanted
persons flyers: sons abducted by fathers, or daughters who simply disappeared.
The grainy black-and-white photos seemed to capture people when they were
looking lostwide-eyed and caught off guardand now represented
the paper-thin hopes of someone stuck searching.
The young officers inspection descended past my sleeping bag to
my slim wardrobe: three Ts, a sweater, a pair of jeans, a hooded raincoat.
When he got deep enough to regretfully finger two pairs of crusty socks,
lifting them out and releasing them quickly like dying fish, he speeded
things up considerably. From the packs lid came my toiletries satchel,
and from the side pockets a tape player and two novels.
While placing The Call Of The Wild and The Adventures of Huckleberry
Finn on the counter, the officer whispered the titles to himself,
perhaps wondering what those particular books indicated about the person
who has chosen to read them. Eventually, with the various pieces of my
moveable life laid out like crime-scene evidence, he took a step back.
"Awright, I think thatll do. Do you always live like this?"
"You get used to it," I said. I looked down at the backpack,
now resting empty, deflated. "Holds everything I need."
He wasnt quite satisfied. "But where do you live? I mean, where
will you go after Florida?"
"Oh, probably back to Ontario for a while. Thats where I grew
up. Most of my family is still there."
He fell silent.
While repacking, I reversed the interrogation. "Hows life in
Portal?"
"I dont live here, thank God," he said.
"You live somewhere bigger?"
"Anywheres bigger."
"Somewhere twice this sizetwo hundred people rather than one
hundred?"
"Exactly," he said, not seeming to mind the little poke. He
was quiet and aloof, a cautious talker, though again I wondered whether
the reticence was genuine. Border authority was often a robot act, efficient
and humourless. My desire as usual was to glimpse the individual beneath,
know something of his true self. I looked out the glass door and across
two lanes of summer-bleached asphalt. A lone eighteen-wheeler was pulled
over on the shoulder, its hazard lights flashing. Beyond the truck lay
anonymous fields, scruffy plain that gave way to more scruffy plain.
"So," I ventured. "Have you guys busted any refugee-smuggling
operations recently?"
"Not much crime at this crossing," he said. "Its
not as exciting a job as you might think."
He followed my gaze out to the long grasses. He pursed his lips, and appeared
to be chewing on the inside of his cheek. Presumably he was turning over
thoughts, about the prairie, how its endlessness can seem a strange restraint,
or about shifts end, a lawn chair and grilled meat and something
cold to drink. I waited.
"I guess I do get to talk to all sorts of people, from different
places doing different things," he said. "Folks from all over,
going every which way. I suppose I like that part."
He made this admission as if for the first time. While handing over my
passport and cash he allowed himself to smile, perhaps having decided
where to file me in his mental cabinet of characters who requested permission
to enter.
"Just sign this and you can head for Florida."
I scribbled along the bottom of a piece of paper. I fancied I was promising
to be a thoughtful nomad, to create few disturbances and to leave and
shut the door behind me after discovering what I came to discover. The
customs officer walked me outside and, with a crunching handshake, said,
"Good luck the rest of the way."
The slightest of bonds had been forged: he was on my side now (and, quite
literally, I was on his). As though I was the trusty horse and the backpack
my dusty, sunburned rider, the southbound trot began once again.
I advanced only another hundred metres, however, as far as the Americana
Motel, where I decided to bed down for the night. I was ready for a rest,
and had adequate reason to pause. Six weeks earlier I had been passing
through the Yukon. In another six weeks or so I would be in Florida. Besides
which, begging for rides all day along a quiet belt of prairie highway
had been a gruelling exercise.
After showering, I stretched out on a mattress of thinly cushioned metal
springs. Eventually I propped myself up with pillows and watched the road
through the open front window. The early October night was cooling quickly
as the sun dropped away and the clear sky surrendered its blues. About
one vehicle passed by every minute. I closed my eyes and could hear a
steady breeze rustling the trees behind the motel, and a dog barking madly
in the distance. Then the telephone rang, startling me.
My fathers voice crackled loudly out of the plastic receiver. "You
were easy to find," he said.
I had stopped at the Americana because, unsurprisingly, it was the only
motel in town. And Dad is a proud sleuth. Although I hadnt talked
to him in over a week, he knew where, and approximately when, I planned
on crossing the border. Among other curiosities, he wanted to make sure
I hadnt been detained and roughed up by antisocial Customs thugs.
"If they mistreated you, we could send in the Mounties," he
joked. "I could make a call right now."
"I dont doubt that," I said.
"So, are you getting what you need?"
"What I need?" I knew what he meant: was the road trip justified;
was I gleaning enough wisdom from the winos and waitresses across the
land? What of singular value had I observed?
I related my hitchhiking drama for Dad, in particular the heartening conclusion
that starred a man named Bill, and, in peripheral roles, Bills sister
Pam and Kincardines Sunset restaurant.
"Really?" he said. But his next comment suggested he wasnt
surprised: "These things happen here."
By "things," I assumed he meant interconnections and neat overlappings.
And "here" was simply here, the whole of a sprawling planet,
the small world, this ball of infinite threads.
As we talked, a small camper van pulled in to the parking lot and idled
in front of the room next to mine. The driver was a middle-aged man, and,
as far as I could tell, he was alone. He unfolded a map over the steering
wheel. He was lost, perhaps, or merely indecisive. Out of habit, my eyes
fell to the vans licence plate, an instant locator of origin. Ontario.
Yours to discover. I felt an urge to wave from the window, or even go
out and say hello.
"Youre starting to see the big picture?" Dad was saying.
"I guess. Maybe the big picture is a combination of smaller pictures."
"There you go," he said. "Better jot that down."
As we arrived at our goodbyes, which included my promise to call sometime
soon, the Ontarian reversed out of his spot and drove back to the road.
I hung up the phone and put on my shoes again. It was time to track down
an American beer, an American burger, and a few talkative Americans. The
man in the van hadnt yet exited the parking lot; he was signalling
but not turning, even though both directions were free of traffic. As
I was halfway toward him, he finally disappeared to the south, rolling
past the motels end.
Whenever you leave, and wherever you go, I thought, home finds a way to
follow.
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