I began working on this book several years ago, then came back to it seriously over the past year. Early on, I wanted to find a way to tell the story of Chloe’s birth and death and the very hard work of those first years of adjusting to that experience. Over the past couple of years, I’ve realized that coming to terms with this kind of loss in a healthy way is a life project—I wanted to catch some of the threads of that process.

As a reader and writer, I looked to books for help and solace when I…

December 2010

When people gather after a death, they find consolation in sharing memories and stories of the person who has died. When an infant dies, there are so few stories—and often only the parents and immediate caregivers know them. So the people who are most anguished have to share the stories in order to connect with and feel supported by others in their group. That being said, mourning is an intense process of adjusting to a new normal, no matter what has changed, so dealing with infant loss has a lot in common with any traumatic loss.

December 2010